Kirov! 2: More Options than a Mercedes S-class

Pyotr Velikiy (Peter the Great.)

Battleships were over by the time the Second World War ended. Aside from the US Navy (who being a superpower could afford to be sentimental about massively expensive warships) what battleships remained at the end of World War 2 were decommissioned and scrapped with astonishing rapidity, considering in World War 2 the very same ships were thought of as critical strategic assets.

Why battleships fell completely out of favor is a pretty simple story. Battleships were enormously expensive to build and to man, and the march of technology had made them very vulnerable – both to submarines and to aircraft. The development of the first guided munitions in World War 2 was a knock against them, as going forward it would be far easier to design weapons with enough explosive to negate a battleship's armor. Another factor was that aircraft carriers had proven themselves as capable of taking over their role of defeating enemy warships at vastly greater engagement ranges than battleships were capable of. This was convenient, as World War 2 was a series of sharp lessons about the necessity of air cover for warships, so even if the former was not true, carriers were now seen as indispensable for large scale operations. The carrier had another advantage as well: when it went into battle, it risked damage to its aircraft, not necessary itself. This was important, as World War 2 (from the perspective of battleships) was a long series of lessons on how minor damage on battleships could lead to not so minor downtimes. Every time your battleship did what it was built to do (IE engage enemy warships) there was a chance it'd take damage that might see it sidelined in a naval yard six months or more. This sidelining could happen thanks to submarines, mines, and aircraft as well. America got around this via its incredible floating portable dry-docks, but every other battleship-possessing nation was pretty much hosed. This vulnerability had another disadvantage: it made the use of battleships very conservative. Both Italy and Japan managed to end the war still possessing battleships, even as the rest of their fleet had been sank.

So when the Soviets began building battlecrusiers in the 1970s, you bet they'd had a think about this. The solution was technology: the Kirovs use the latest in missile technology for offensive actions, and a bewildering array of similar technology to defend themselves against missiles, aircraft, and submarines. Each offensive and defensive technology also seems to have its own bespoke sensor system, so a Kirov is a nest of sensors, detectors, and automatic turrets for hucking stuff at incoming ordinance. At the same time, its offensive weapons are the cleverest, deadliest missilery Soviet/Russian science can cook up, which is considerable.

Congratulations on buying a RUSSIA STRONK Kirov-class battlecruiser!

If taken care of properly, your RUSSIA STRONK Kirov-class battlecruiser can last many decades with an occasional overhaul. Please peruse this document for vital ownership and warranty information.

MY KIROV CLASS BATTLECRUSIER IS NAMED: __________________________________

Basic Stats

Ship type: Battlecruiser

Length: 252 m (827 ft)

Beam: 28 m (94 ft)

Displacement: 28,000 tons fully armed and loaded

Complement: < 600 - > 800 depending on vessel and era. This includes aircrew and staff for helicopters and a command staff for flag officers.

Power plant: hybrid nuclear/conventional turbine steam power, with nuclear as primary and conventional steam as a backup. 2 KN-3 reactors with an output of 300 MW each, two steam power generators of 14,000 hp each, combined output of 100,000 kW (140,000 shaft horsepower.)

Range: unlimited

Endurance based on food stores: 60 days

Fuel (nuclear reactors): Uranium 50% enriched. Note: for refueling, only buy RUSSIA STRONK brand fuel rods for your Kirov-class battlecruiser (in the red and gold package.) It has been specially formulated for your Kirov-class's reactors. Only use uranium fuel rods with a 50% enrichment; rods beneath this enrichment level will sap performance and fuel life, while rods over 50% could damage your ship's reactors and invalidate your warranty.

Conventional plant: Russian standard bunker-grade fuel oil. [UPDATE 2016: it has come to RUSSIA STRONK's attention that some users of our warships have been supplanting their fuel supply with additives in an attempt to economize. These additives include shredded tires, shredded low-grade consumer plastics, and coal-tar slurry. These additives can not only damage your steam turbines and invalidate your warranty, the combustion products are frequently known carcinogens and are against most nations' environmental laws. If a economy grade fuel oil is desired, please stick to Carnival Cruise Lines “International Waters and Third World Nations” bunker grade guidelines.]

RUSSIA STRONK will not name names.

Also in your package should be:

warranty card;

Please only buy RUSSIA STRONK brand marine anti-fouling paint; substitutions may be more noticeable than you think.

This handy wall poster of the family tree of the S-300 series SAM:

Project documentation in paper binders and  5x PC-CDROM; (Windows 98SE or better required);

“Calibrating your CWIS” instructional pamphlet;

A starter pack of three Kamov 27 “Helix” anti-submarine helicopters. [Note: ASW torpedoes and acoustic buoys sold separately.][Note 2: PLEASE READ THE INSTRUCTIONS ON HOW TO GET THE “HELIX” HELICOPTERS OUT OF THEIR BLISTER PACKS CORRECTLY. The dual rotor mechanism is easily damaged;]

Note that the hanger space of your Kirov class battlecrusier was designed to only work with RUSSIA STRONK brand Kamov 27s. Other types of helicopters will not work, no matter what the British tell you.

Munitions

A blister pack containing a BONUS - a complete load of missiles and ammunition.

The Kirov class battlecruiser went though significant sub-system revision between the earlier Kirov and  Frunze, and the later Kalinin and  Andropov. The blister packs come in “early” and “late” varieties, but your ship may have some other combination of equipment.

Early blister pack contains:

20 x Granit [NATO: SS-N-19 'Shipwreck']anti-ship missiles;

96 x S-300F long range [NATO: SA-N-6 'Grumble'] SAMs;

40 OSA-MA point defense [NATO: SA-N-4 'Gecko'] SAMs;

2x 100mm L60 auto-loading cannon ammunition;

Anti-torpedo rocket system: 3x launchers 1x 10 barrel, 2x six barrel, 40-60 reloads;

10x 533mm torpedo tubes, box o' type 53 torpedoes;

Metel Anti-ship complex with 40x UDAV-1 [NATO: SS-N-14 'Silex'] anti-submarine missiles.

Please only load missiles in their proper packaging. Attempting to load 'open' missiles often damages delicate control surfaces.

Later blister pack contains:

20 x Granit [NATO: SS-N-19 'Shipwreck'] anti-ship missiles;

48 x S-300F [NATO: SA-N-6 'Grumble'] and 48 x S-300FM [NATO: SA-N-20 'Gargoyle'] long range SAMs;

128 9K95 Tor point defense [NATO: SA-N-9 'Gauntlet'] SAMs;

60x 9M311 Kortik [NATO: SA-N-11 'Grison'] SAMs;

1x two barrel 130mm L70 dual purpose auto-loading cannon with ammunition;



CWIS: 8x Kashtan (Chestnut) semi-autonomous gun-missile point defense systems;

Anti-torpedo rockets: 3x launchers, 1 ten barrel, 2 six barrel, 40-60 reloads;

10x 533mm torpedo tubes, mixed box of type 53 torpedoes; and RPK-2 [NATO: SS-N-15 'Starfish'] anti-submarine missile.

 A coupon for 4 free 500 kT nuclear warheads, fixable to most surface to surface missiles. [The UN was insistent that we package these separately from our ships. Redeem at participating retailers or our website (contact info #9-84).]

NEW! Admiral Nakhimov (ex- Kalinin) is currently undergoing a refit, and is rumored to be getting a whole new blister pack of missiles and sub-systems! Your Kirov-class battlecruiser may be upgradable to these new systems for a modest fee! Please check the RUSSIA STRONK website for more details!

Sensors

Radar: Yes, various, see documentation

Fire control: As every system has its own fire control system, please see documentation

Sonar: Sonar mount in the bow, stern hatch can deploy sonar towfish and passive sonar nets.

ELINT: Yes, please see documentation

Jamming and countermeasures:  Yes, please see documentation

A series of books about the battlecruiser Kirov and its time-travelling adventures: yes.

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While that is obviously a whole shitload of weapons and subsystems, it gets even more daunting if you consider that the age of these systems may stretch from modern times to Soviet style electronics from the early 1980s. I imagine the electrotech engineers who maintain a  Kirov class battlecruiser are very good at their jobs.

Point defense systems are obviously a big part of how warships defend themselves against missiles, and the Kirov-class does not skimp on these. The initial two class vessels used eight AK-630-series 30mm 6 barrel Gatling gun pods.

We won't lie: basically stationary Daleks.

These pods are the big visual difference between the earlier and later vessels.

You can see the little angry daleks on those platforms on either side of the main missile deck. The large rectangular block of missile hatches center photo are for the SS-N-20s; the square hatches forward of those are for the SA-N-6/20 SAMs.

The Kirovs currently in commission mount the much more metal "chestnut" point defense systems. Twin 30mm Gatling guns and a smattering of point defense SAMs in one handy turret. The west has no equivalent, but imagine twin Avenger Gatling guns firing point defense "Hatredfarmer" SAMs in a turret that looks like a robot's head and you get the picture.

Please do not use the Chestnut's very high power microwave targeting radar to explode passing seabirds.

SS-N-19 Shipwreck – uh, YEAH that's a GI Joe reference

There is one munition that's worth going into some detail: the SS-N-19 'Shipwreck' missile, which is the main offensive weapon of the Kirovs. The Shipwreck is a cruise missile, 10 m long and about a meter wide, that launches itself via a rocket booster, and then once up to speed propels itself via ramjet (though some sources say turbojet). Range is believed to be 450 km/650 km @ mach 1.6.(high altitude mach 2.5.) The warhead has a few options: explosive (750 kg-1653 lbs), fuel-air explosive, or nuclear. Targeting can be done via the Kirov class's sensors, or a third party like a Tu-142 Bear, or by satellite. When it comes to blitzing a well-defended naval target, the Shipwreck is rumored to have a few interesting features.

Granit combustion products are not clean; after firing a salvo, your Kirov-class battlecruiser will need to be washed.

First, Shipwrecks were designed to fly in 'pods' of up to five missiles, with one missile flying higher than the others, acting as the 'eyes' for the pod. If the spotter missile is shot down, the pod replaces it. If the Shipwreck cruise missiles have their own onboard sensors, and can co-ordinate terminal guidance among themselves if necessary, and can also target sources of jamming. They can also decide among themselves what a high priority target is in the naval formation, and who should explode  what. The Russians have of course been trying to develop better versions of the Shipwreck, in one case with India. This has resulted in the P.800 Oniks as a replacement. Thanks to their large size, Shipwrecks can only be mounted on Kirov-class battlecruisers, Oscar class submarines, and the Kuznetsov carrier, which is probably a majority of the Kuznetsov's military utility, right there.

A Shipwreck ready to launch.

Shipwreck posed as it is in flight minus the parrot.

This is a cutaway of the turbojet version. The blue is the sensor package, the red is the warhead.

Once again: not small.

Just guessing here, but I'd say that the case of "swarms of shipwrecks vs. a USN carrier group's combined air defenses"is the Fuda Gap of naval warfare: studied exhaustively by both sides.

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