I watched it so you don't have to: Nuclear Effects During SAC Delivery Missions (1960)

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZMfpFcMY96Q

• Opening. You may laugh at the crest of the air force, the title over a flying white-and-shiny aluminum B-52 , and the music intro choice.
  
• So this film is assuring SAC crews that their combat mission folders are strictly the best, and you should always follow them to the letter.
  
• 1:38 - IBM COMPUTERS, being used by somebody who's possibly the only non-white person in the film. Thinking about it, they don't really describe what these computers are doing aside from "assess variables."
  
• These computers are fed by punch cards and has an output of blinking lights, toggle switches everywhere
  
• 2:14 - the first of what we will call really lovely colour footage of period aircraft
  
• 2:38 - the first canned sunshine
  
• 2:48 - mushroom cloud as photographed from a Canberra
  
• 3:15 - YOUR combat mission planners!
  
• 3:52 - A officer uses a slide-rule
  
• 4:20 - Animated interlude starts
  
• I should say the use of music here is amazing. A thermonuclear bomb gently boops a town like a baby's nose
  
• 5:12: The second phase of the thermonuclear pulse is arrows of gentle thermal effects
  
• 6:00: "Overpressure, in positive and negative phases, produces a wraparound 'crushing' action...."
  
• 6:41: Radiation. Listen to those flutes and that xylophone...!
  
• 7:00: "Radiation isn't a big deal thanks to your distance. Fallout is a ground problem. You need only be concerned with the nuclear cloud, and the safe separation times given to you in your big binder of awesome information."
  
• 7:30: more colour footage of aircraft flyin' - the subject shifts to sexy, sexy empirical testing of materials with with nuclear bombs
  
• 8:00: "After the Hiroshima and Nagasaki results..."
  
• 8:10: "to the Marshall islands and to the desert wastes of Nevada..."
  
• 8:38: "Operation Crossroads, 1946. Those primitive swabbies of the USN started the empirical testing with an amateurish effort..."
  
• I'm not joking about this, they put fizzling firecracker sounds over able and baker exploding
  
• 9:00: footage from operation Greenhouse, including those drone B-17s taking part in the test
  
• 9:52: Ivy Mike
  
• 10:00: Test aircraft, including B-47s and B-36s
  
• 10:40: slow motion film of aircraft being torn apart by nuclear blasts
  
• 11:00: A P-47 actually becomes airborne when hit with the blast wave
  
• 11:30: "aerial participation in megaton sized events"
  
• We tested the shit out of B-47s and they took it like a champ
  
• 12:54: Operation Teapot short and stout
  
• We used P-80s as drones at lethal close ranges
  
• 14:24: One drone crashed, the middle drone landed without incident and was promoted to Captain
  
• 15:00: The B-47 is joined by the B-52
  
• We were so through you guys, oh my god. Just look at this airman and this massive bank of circuits, presumably flying
  
• If your particular kink is physically hot midcentury white men measuring things, this is your jam
  
• 16:00: Sexy timing errors. They got the timing so tight, it was in the MOE!
  
• 18:00: flying through nuclear clouds
  
• hot, hot, cloud penetration {studies}
  
• during HARD TACK, Marauders did extra penetration {studies}
  
• 18:45: We get a shot of engineers walking toward an office
  
• 19:30: "Thus from the oft-lighted crucible of atomic test fire, with the attendant laboratory work, our results are {really good}"
  
• 19:43: A montage of USAF planners, planning
  
• Includes detail debate, simulated
  
• 22:30: "The final IBM runoff of the new annex F of the new EWO..."
  
• 23:00: "We did a LOT of research, and you can read it, but honestly, there's just so much of it. Just trust that the information we give you is the best."
  
• 23:55: NUCLEAR WAR FROM THE CABIN OF A B-52 {simulated}
  
• It's not as good as "By Dawn's Early Light"
  
• "So you bore past the HHCL, all six of your wrapped in this metal cocoon, like a submarine crew beneath the sea. For the next few hours, aside from the pilot's passing glimpse of the countryside during low level operation, your only contact with the world outside will be a sporadic wink of light, followed by a sharp jolt."
  
• This is all pretty standard, although they show the pilots wearing their symmetrical eye patches.
  
• There is several minutes of dramatic low flying over what I guess is the western united states
  
• 30:15: They drop da bomb, I'm thinking it's the 20 megaton honkey?
  
• 32:00: "and you may be annoyed at having to take the long way around, but just remember the direct way is going to be erased by a multi-megaton explosion according to the war schedule. You also remember complaining about this rerouting because you are flying through radioactive clouds from another canned sunshine strike, but you are going to live through this war so maybe shut up"
  
• "Yes, it could happen. If this nightmare situation ever materializes into grim reality, you may have a real bear by the tail. But at least you are assured of escaping the nuclear effects of our own weapons. {This is what our awesome planning allows.} This is your assurance, as you rigidly follow your flight plan."
  
• THE END